Skip to main content

The Special Shelf : Value xx

For my entire life, my Nana has kept a shelf full of irreplaceable, invaluable, one of a kind trinkets from around the globe- they created a visible symphony of her life experiences. 
Small reminders of moments she shared, places that captured her soul and maybe some that she just found too cute not to buy. 
Either way - they each had their place. 
Not just on the special shelf at Nana’s house , but in a certain position, facing a specific direction. If you moved the tiny penguin family a little to the left, we all knew it. 
If you had a quick look at the minature glass Pepsi bottle- be sure it would be noticed. 

For years and years those ornaments watched us all grow. They were witness to us all becoming school age, toothless, adolescent- All while a reverent respect remained between us. Untouchable. 

Even as an adult bringing my own children over to GG’s house ( Great Grandma) , the first and most important rule- do not touch the special shelf!!
I’d be lying if I didn’t sneak some moments of seeing sticky - vegemite covered- teeny tins hands pluck a bell from London and wizz it around, or the small ship from Singapore go straight in the mouth...but each swift catch of a moment with trinket in hand, created a knee jerk response- put it down! Put it back! Exactly where it belongs. Trace the dust outline of the shelf and place it carefully back as if it were never touched, never to be touched again. 

To be honest, my Nana was never particular about them. She didn’t banish us from the special shelf. But as she spoke of where a piece was from, maybe we all developed a mutual respect. They had been given a place, above other trinkets, their value exceeded other trinkets thrown in the cupboard below. 

One day in recent years , my Nana moved house. It was a downsizing, simpler way to live. I remember everyone packing up cups and plates by the dozen, throwing in utensils, photo albums, but no one touched the special shelf. Not yet. When the time would come, we would work that out. 
And come it did. 
Although not in the way I thought it would. As we begun looking through it all and giggling, telling stories of the times we touched the pelican vase, or one of our kids licked the tea cup, we also had to start packing them.
Removing them from their rightful thrones. They had done such an immaculate job of keeping consistency to Nana’s lounge and chunks of our childhood. 

Now we were faced with a task of
not only touching these prized possessions, but removing them! It was probably my young developing brain as a child that placed such value on them, maybe they weren’t as timeless as I perceived them. But either way, to me, playing around with the life of the trinkets was a big deal. 

As we begun picking up and wrapping them carefully in paper, someone would pipe up :
“ anyone want this one?!”
SORRY WHAT!?! 
We can’t just dish out trinkets!!!!! 
Mum assured me that all the special ones with meaning Nana had already sorted and kept safe, and the rest were up for grabs for us or....the SALVOS!!! 

Mind blown. 

One by one I started going through the remainder of the shelf. Eyeballing all the trinkets I thought were special over so many years, and really, they were space fillers. 
I’d given them that value. 
Misplaced honour. 
You’re a trinket on the special shelf!!!
You can’t disguise yourself as a priceless possession my entire life and then be thrown into the nearest waste basket. 
I remember scurrying to the discard pile : “ I’LL KEEP THEM ALL”.
Trying desperately to salvage years worth of my thoughts and understanding of these little treasures.
My Mum assured me a lot of what was left wasn’t valuable, didn’t have a story, a connection point, was perhaps a cheap knock off from the very beginning...

The betrayal. 
You mean I might have been sacrificing my self discipline and wasting many moments idolising something that was from The Reject Shop all along?! For years!!!!
I’d done it to myself. 
I could have asked. I mean Nana often told us stories of the special ones on the shelf. But the others I assumed had their own dark secrets yet to be revealed. Instead in silence they just sat there, looking like the real deal, acting like the rest- but in realty gaining my trust and respect as a special trinket from someone over the other side of the globe. 

Fake. Trinkets. 

I remember letting my daughter play with the pile left for the Salvos, almost defensive of them. “ Not too hard darling...Be very careful”
What did they care! They were on a one way trip to an op-shop or bin. 
I sat protective over something that had no more meaning or value. 
Something that once had meaning in my eyes and all along, it just wasn’t it’s true meaning. 

In a similar way a few days ago I was tidying up my husbands book shelf ( he reads A LOT so it’s a big task).
I collected the bibles first. 
One. 
Two.
Three.
Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight etc etc 
So many bibles!!!
I flopped onto the floor in a swimming pool of NIV, Commentary, KJV, AMP,
thinking to myself ; at one point in history THE VALUE of this book was immeasurable. The intricate, meticulous work as it was recorded and translated. Copy by copy. Hour by hour.  Stroke by stroke. 
Then along comes Lisa Keros ( maiden name) thousands of years later, etching all over the pages of her first bible, how much she loves the boy over the fence! 

Value. 

As I carried 22 ( I counted) different types of bibles to the shed I was overcome with the reality that these 22 bibles in the hands of humans who are yet to gain access to the gospel, could change the course of their lives. Yet here I sit on the balcony wondering which edition I will read from today, if I can even peel myself away from Netflix. You know? What a world we live in. What a time to be alive. Given the most amount of option in the world, with the least amount of work. 

It gives value something to fight for. Everything is cheap. Disposable. 
Houses.
Phones. 
Cars. 
Friendship.
Integrity.

Might I encourage you my friends, to assess where you are placing value right now. On who, or what, or where. 
Some relationships may have a value you’ve put on them that perhaps aren’t the healthiest of options.
Maybe some scenarios you’ve been replaying in your head as valuable- even if a negative - are being given value by validating them with your thoughts. 
Maybe replaying them over and over allows those past memories to have shelf space. Maybe they aren’t the trinkets of value that deserve that space in your mind and heart. 

We all have special shelf. Where what is most important and valuable to us resides. In our hearts and minds. It’s good to assess what it taking up that space and why. 

Let me tell you sweethearts, unforgiveness will take up the entire shelf if you let it. It will rudely and arrogantly push off all other trinkets and leave you overcome and underwhelmed. Leave no space in your heart for that. 

Romans 12:2 - Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 

A constant choice of where you place value. You’ll never go wrong handing that struggling of value in the heart and mind - over to God. 
Jesus, here is all of me. My mess, my thoughts, my past and my present. 
Make it beautiful. 
He will. 
He does. 

All my love ( and trinkets I salvaged )



Lis XX 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Vicious Cycle

Last night, my husband sat with me in the car and we held hands in silence, as I let the tears roll down my cheeks. This continous cycle is almost predictable yet I cannot break it. Im not sure what to share and what to hold onto. I want this blog to be an inspiration, but I also promised truth. I believe by sharing the truth of the situation that in turn some of you can identify with the pain of this and feel less isolated. So, here I am. In the same lounge room that Sam learnt to crawl in , yet I have no recollection of him doing so. I'll take the chance now to tell you that I have found an amazing pycologist who is redefining my thoughts and perceptions of my entire life so far. The benefits have been immeasurable and the amount I have learnt is mind blowing, yet I reach this point where as much as that helps, I am still in the prison of my own mind and its perception of reality- I still feel removed from life and its emotions and responses. Can I just say, that le...

The things we are made of...

Friends, family, readers near and far, thank you once again for your ongoing love and support. Sometimes when I write I feel like maybe Im the only reader :).  I was absolutely staggered to find that there are readers in Indonesia, Canada, Malaysia, Denmark, Germany, Slovenia, Brazil, Spain, UK, United States, as well as our good old Australia. I consider it a complete honour that you would take the time to share my journey, and my biggest hearts desire is that it somehow helps you on your own journey through life. Thank you xxoo Happy Easter!!! It was so long wasnt it??!! So many days off in a row! We went to a camp site, wow, so much respect goes out to parents who can manage taking kids along to such events...haha I am still recovering. :) I hope it was a lovely break for you all. With so much commercialism being thrown in our faces all the time, it really is an easy task to buy the easter eggs, pack the camping gear and play tennis. Forgetting and disregarding the ...

Meet Me In The Mess xx

What a horrific week. Australia was left heart broken and the footy world gutted as we lost a key leader of the game to a disease of the mind- suicide. The christian world has been rocked by another young pastor with a young family , taking his life only days ago. As someone advocating for the awareness and treatment of mental illness for over 10 years via this blog-  We need to talk.  I’ve been asked my thoughts/ advice / experience on this latest topic of Pastors and Suicide and to be perfectly honest- it’s tough. It’s tough because there is no one size fits all. There is no “depression” and “anxiety” that fit neatly into a little box with a bow on top. It’s messy.  We’re messy. We all are. Do I believe God is still God and God is still good and brilliant and beautiful and a healer and a comforter? - Yes I do.  But I also believe we as a society are living beyond our means. We are over stimulated and under responsive, we’re addicted, w...

The Mess In The Message xx

Hey Fam! I wrote this blog last week, before the news of another pastor caught in a web of infidelity made its way to the headlines. Ouch. That one hurt my heart. They all do, but that one was deep. Thankfully, the only need we have is Jesus, the only mentor we can fully trust is Jesus. The only wisdom and encouragement we need is found in His word.  So with that in mind, here’s the words I plopped down last week:   Hello Friends, new and old. 2020. Here we are. On the eve of an election, in the heat of a pandemic, on the edge of our seats hoping and praying that 2021 will be a new start. We’re imperfect humans with a perfect God. We’re simultaneously broken and whole. We are living in this timeline of fallen humanity and perfect peace. Flesh and Spirit. We as humans are in the constant wrestle of the world and God, pleasure and pain, jealousy, anger, bitterness, forgiveness, happiness, desperation, excitement, disappointment. Essentially, if we a...

The best and worst day of the year

Hey folks, thanks for reading again. I really appreciate the feedback and encouragement. You are lovely. So today is an emotional day, especially for queenslanders in our country. Our prayers are with you xxoo I was hesitant to blog today, wanting to be sensitive to the natural disasters happening so closely around us, and also because it is an emotional day. A combination of my parents leaving for overseas for a month, and it being Sams birthday. We fit so much into one day, mcdonalds for breakfast, pizza hut for lunch, yogi bear at the movies, slip and slide, pirate ship dinner...massive day. So my little baby is 4. For those dealing with the same/similar condition as me you would know what I mean when I say I literally dont know where the years have gone. I think a sad thing is that Sams birthday is always going to be hard for me. I need to make it about him and his life, not about me. But I was saying to Jas on the way home tonight, it is really hard having Sams birthday, also b...

Bricks & Mortar

Happy Easter beautiful readers. Thank you for relentlessly taking this journey with me. To say it humbles me would be an incredible understatement. What an amazing time of year. Easter. The notion that what we believe isn't a story, but in fact a reality, and it begs us to re-evaluate the true state of happenings we are living in. One would dare say, a state of emergency. Isn't it so incredibly easy to have God in the background , and keep busy in our treasures we are storing on this earth, which ultimately have zero value. I find  One always  gives way to the other. I know for me, in the times when Jesus is so madly on my case ( well He always is, I just don't always want to listen ) I get this glimpse of what walking in the spirit of Jesus actually looks like. What my life should look like everyday. But I've got my own stuff to do, my own TV shows to obsess over, my own problems to mull over, my own children to take up my time. I segregate God and my life, li...

Butterflies and Caterpillars.

Today I had the privilege of watching the beautiful view from our bedroom, and to watch Bella see a butterfly for the first time. We watched it sit on the blossoms and then all of a sudden, to Bella's amazement,  it flew!! Bella couldn't believe it! The butterflies flew up and down and all around the garden. They flew where ever they wanted with abandon. The colours were bright and beautiful, they were free. In that moment I heard a whisper into my soul. I love these whispers, they have sustained me. Jesus quietly spoke to my heart and revealed to me that as caterpillars, the butterflies lived a completely different life. They didn't know at the time that a transformation was taking place, and in the cocoon, in the darkest time when the world seemed the most bleak, that's when the greatest change of all was taking place. In our cocoons, trials, suffering , the fire refines us. It burns away garbage and whatever it leaves becomes invaluable and strong. The pain in ...

embrace the day

Hey Ho folks, Here we are again. It has been a little while since my last blog ( that felt like a confession;)  Ive had heaps of thoughts and ups and downs and sometimes I dont blog it all, only because I dont want to be negative. With depression, as you would know, there are some pretty low days. But today, I thought I would be honest, even on a flat day, because this blog is about a journey and about truth. The last month has sucked big time. I have continued to be a medication guinea pig, and with it has brought a lot of hectic times. I am on a new medicine which hasnt been tested much, it is a new 'breakthrough' medication, although it isnt breaking through much of my depersonalisation. Ahhh it was worth a crack. Im not gonna lie, these past few weeks/months I have questioned God, yelled at Him, cried to Him, pleaded to Him. Sometimes I was just angry that I was even in this position, daily missing out on normal life. But as the old saying goes : hate breeds ...

Make Your Mark

Hello good friends. Thanks again for reading. Hopefully now I am back in there will be more frequency to my posts. I really appreciate all of your love and support, as always. So as I posted last time, there may be a mcphee baby happening this year, no I am not pregnant but it is on the cards. This gets me thinking about time and although I dont have the correct perception of time due to my condition, Sam still grew up really darn fast:( He will be at school next year...WHAT!!??. These types of thoughts get me thinking about my life and the lives of people around me and I think if  27 years has gone this fast, the next 30 will go even faster. It puts a fragility on life, and an element of non-permanency. Often we look at what we are going through as the be all and end all of life. That our boyfriend or friends or house or holiday or conflict or pain is all consuming. That we will live forever because we are so young, yet it ticks by quickly. In 100 years we wont be among the liv...

That Time Of Year

Hello and welcome to the festive season! Our house was all ablaze yesterday with christmas decorations and the pageant and lights. Jason in this case, is definitely more the kid than Sam and I. Actually, Sam is quite the same as his dad and for those who know Jas, one of the first things you would know about him is that he is christmas obsessed. When he was 4 he told his mum that his dream when he grew up was to be Father Christmas. That dream unfortunately, still rings true in Jas's ears :) Bless his cotton ( and holey) socks off. So I had 2 kids yesterday ( inclusive of the big kid) running around the house singing and dancing. Sam was yelling "merry christmas and a happy new your" in his little accidental american accent ( I blame sesame street). I love how he is still mixing words up, I know that wont always be the case, but for now things like 'fat battery' and 'hide and sink' and still very cute and funny. I had one of those moments where you stop ...