Anchored To Hope

Helloooooo friends! wow it was been over a week! I am very sorry. My little family and me have been very sick, chest infections a plenty. Hideous things they are, I have been in bed almost everyday and Sam has been crook as anything. We are definitely, finally, on the mend. Way too many trips to the doctor! So where to start? It was kindy day again today, Sam acts so grown up when we get there and when we get home, its pretty funny. He seems to have grown more in the last 2 weeks, he is fully becoming a real little man, not a little toddler anymore. It makes me happy and sad. And its only recently that I feel I can say that without trying to explain that I am still not normal. I have had a change it mind set and it has been a choice. I am sad that Sam is growing so quick, but happy that he is becoming such a beautiful individual. I am grateful that we spent today together, tomorrow isnt guaranteed, not even our next breath is. I feel a big weight has been lifted from me, and it was ...

Hey friends, Thanks again for reading, listening, writing, it is so encouraging to know that in sharing this, you are progressing and encouraged in your own journeys. It has been a little while since my last entry, life has been a little crazy and busy. Just a heads up, if this is the first time you have seen the blog, can I encourage you to have a little peep at the first entry just to get the full story and understanding of the stages of the blog. xxoo Monday morning, our lives turned from having a baby, to being defined by terms and school holidays for the next 13+ years. The beginning of kindy. Sam was pumped. He walked into our room at 6am with his bag and lunch box and was ready to go. I took about a billion photos and videos to make sure I could look back on it. 6gb to be exact. Sammy couldn't wait to get into the gate and play with the kids. It was like he grew up instantly. His teachers are beautiful people and are great with him. It was a weird day. From a deperso...

Today, I have again been reminded of the truth and character of God. Although I cannot for the most part, feel Him, I have no choice but to see Him at work and give Him credit that is due. I began the day in a circle of self pity. Thoughts that I was stuck forever in a time trap, isolated and alone, watching the world turn without me. The thought that Sam is a kindy boy in one more sleep, and yet I remember almost nothing of his life, and of what I remember, I cannot relate or experience along with the memory. If I allow myself to, I become a massive victim. It seems cruel and unfair that I cannot look at my son and feel an overwhelming sense of ownership and adoration. It seems almost a tease that on the outside my life by all means, should be an almost perfect one. A beautiful husband and son, supporting and loving family and friends, growing ministry along side best friends, more things in life than one would ever need, yet I have a big massive hole that nothing can fill.  A...

Hi guys, sorry for the lack of communication lately, its been a hectic time of late, only a few days till Sam starts kindy. We had a birthday party today for Sam's girlfriend Summer :) They are the cutest, such innocent little minds and hearts. I really am so lucky to have the people in my life that I do, I feel I am surrounded with the best. I got home to my parents today for them to tell me that our next door neighbour ( when I use to live there) had passed away due to cancer. He was older, so its sometimes easy to think, oh well thats normal and in the cycle of life. But I saw his daughter today, and not matter how old you are, you still belong. That is still her daddy. She still feels like his little princess. It still hurts the same as when she would have been 5 years old. In saying that he was old, probably in his 60's :) Sorry to those whom that offends :) I also saw his little grandchildren, who have no concept of age. All that they know is that they love Papa, and he...

Hi Folks, Thanks again for everything, support and love. Still appreciating it all. Have gone a few days without the internet so its good to be back. I would like to try and write everyday but it may change from time to time. It has been a big weekend, a lot of resting and sleeping which sounds boring but its the best :) Count down for Sammy and the week leading up to kindy. It is our last week with our little baby boy, then he grows up. Jas is beardless which is a nice change, its nice to be able to see his face again.  Thats us in a nut shell. I go to see Marcus in a week from now which is always a good thing, he will assess my medication and if it is helping. The thought of another baby enters my head as Sam gets older, but I would like to give treatment a good crack first. For the mums out there who read this and can identify with my story, I have read that pregnancy and birth can actually be a positive thing because it alters brain chemicals and hormones, and can sometimes ...

Sorry for my laziness yesterday, I am still yet to decide how often I will blog. Everyday? every second day? hmmmm I will think about it. I do like recording the day as it unfolds so we'll see how it goes. Big shout out to ICK, your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and you light up my life and I love you.xxoo What. A. Day...it was heaps of fun. We had a Sparta competition which is my husband and some of his friends dressing from the movie 300 and bronzing themselves to see who looks the most buff, basically an excuse to take photos in their jocks and get away with it. But it was so sunny and Sam and his friend Molly splashed in the pool, and I was surrounded by people that I love so much, that I barely assessed where I was at, I was able to just be and enjoy it for what I could. The sun shine helped too. Sam seems so old :( He is talking constantly, no exaggeration, constantly. Just the words he puts together and his responses, he is no longer a baby. The kindy countdown...