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A Day Of Sparta

Sorry for my laziness yesterday, I am still yet to decide how often I will blog. Everyday? every second day? hmmmm I will think about it. I do like recording the day as it unfolds so we'll see how it goes. Big shout out to ICK, your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and you light up my life and I love you.xxoo
What. A. Day...it was heaps of fun. We had a Sparta competition which is my husband and some of his friends dressing from the movie 300 and bronzing themselves to see who looks the most buff, basically an excuse to take photos in their jocks and get away with it. But it was so sunny and Sam and his friend Molly splashed in the pool, and I was surrounded by people that I love so much, that I barely assessed where I was at, I was able to just be and enjoy it for what I could. The sun shine helped too. Sam seems so old :( He is talking constantly, no exaggeration, constantly. Just the words he puts together and his responses, he is no longer a baby. The kindy countdown is on. ( Insert both sad and happy faces).

I was talking to my friends Olive (n+d) and Liv (B1) today, and we were talking about change. They are amazing, taking on the world and beating it all the time. Ive learnt a lot from such  women. Anyway, we were all talking about how 2 years ago if they was sitting in my lounge room we would have been complete strangers, and now its hard to imagine life any differently. As a general rule, I hate change. Well I love it too, I like new things like re-arranging the house. But I dont like permanent change, I think because it means I am not in control. But if I think back, more often than not, change has always been for the better. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that God has brought it about in my life.
When we pray we kind of tell God what the answer will be, wait for Him to do it, and then complain when He doesnt do what we asked. When all along, He IS making things new, He IS answering our cries, He IS at work. I think His plan for our lives is way better than our own and no matter how much it seems that He isnt hearing us, or doing what we think He needs to, He is always doing His best will and plan for our lives. Regardless of whether we like it, asked for it, or thank Him for it. I thats why when I look back, although I didnt ask for the exact things He put in my path, the trials or the new people or change in my life, He has been there all along guiding my next step. To judge it at the time and ask where God was, would be to put it out of context because His plan is always unfolding. And I believe that my healing is unfolding. I dont know how or when or what it will look like, but all that I do know is that the road ahead is black to me, and Jesus is lighting the path enough for me to see where to put my next step down, and thats about it. I dont really have the ability to look forward right now, but I also dont have the ability to look back. So for now, He will keep lighting those next footsteps for me, and I will keep following.
I need Him.
Change is the scariest possibility, it is rarely comfortable and often uninviting to embrace. But when Jesus is your guide and you have asked for His will, may I encourage you to embrace it with both hands because chances are, It is Jesus who has got you where you are today, for His perfect plan.  Sometimes I fall in the trap of over thinking what is God and what isnt, when really, with my healing, I see it all as Him because I choose to. Marcus being my doctor, is all about God. The friends He has given me to be with me in life and along the way are perfectly suited to me in everyway and they add so much to my life. His hand in my life in undeniable. Im sure if you stood back and had a good look, you too would see that hand through your life. Not answering every prayer you ever asked for and giving you everything you think you wanted, but gently guiding you into better and deeper places in life than you ever imagined you could get to or get past. He isnt our sugar daddy, He is our strength and provider of what is best for us, and He knows what is best.

Thankyou Jesus that you know me, you love me. You have handcrafted my heart and mind and you are at work in my situation, with the best outcome possible insight. Thankyou that you know better than I. xxoo

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