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Bella; latin meaning, Beautiful

It is no surprise my Bella is beautiful, she has a pretty beautiful daddy ;) She lives up to her name in all senses of the word. We chose her name because my Mum, Annie, was given an endearing name by my Dad - "Annabelle". It's his name for her. My niece is called Anna, so when we had a girl we loved Bella, and also named her after my Mummy and Daddy's love story. Her name is beautiful, just like her.

So here is where my thoughts always seem to go to since having a daughter and a growing son, how do I protect my children and raise them to know true beauty in themselves, and recognise it in others? We are a product of our surroundings. Survey and research says you are most influeced by the 5 closest people in your life. You learn, copy, and become like those 5 people.

Now I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I've had 2 kids and a whole lotta brain-medication that has completely changed the condition of my body, pre-motherhood. As Somewhat of an athletic and sports driven child and teenager, I lost my mojo when life took an a new meaning when I became "mum". Depeding of my level of medication, my body was almost a slave to whatever dose I was given. Which does tend to mess with your self esteem a little. I am not usually one to be fixed on that, I enjoy being fit and I also enjoy eating; so they go hand in hand. But when I was in a place of not really having an option about the state of my body, I began to realise how others must feel a lot of the time. Those who no matter what, cannot and will not have the body that the world is pushing us to have, be it because of Injury or disability or just plain old genetics.
It use to be a strive to be skinny, now it has changed to this unrealistic goal to be an athletic, ripped fitness model. It is splashed all over social media and thrown in our faces constantly. This pill, this program, this product in this amount of time will make you look just like this person.
Now I can eat and train as an athlete would, and even if I put the chocolate down for a few minutes, I could never look like them, I have different bone structure, body shape etc. I do not have a problem at all with these athletes, Infact I follow one on social media called Sophie Guidolin. Sophie is a Mum and she takes her sons on the journey, she is realistic and encourages good food and discipline, which is fantastic. She is hard working and wants to achieve, and she does. She is an athlete. A Professional athlete.

The problem isn't this. The problem is the standard is set without us even getting a say, that this is normal. And it isn't just fitness models that are thrust on us to resemble, it is barely dressed models on every bus stop, it is celebrities showing us parts of their body that we don't need to see, that my 7 year old son does not need to see. Sam even said to me:  " Mum don't look, but there is a lady with her boobs out, and a baby in her tummy. Why did they tell her to be naked on that sign?" ( Megan Gale) . It is being fed to my daughter to become that woman, and fed to my son to view women that way.  It is a proven fact that men use a different part of their brain to view women in a bikini, it becomes an object not an emotional sense of love and connection to the person. I'm sure if you love someone you use both, but below is the video of the med-student who did the research and presentation of this particular scenario. If you can't be bothered watching it all, have a peep at 4mins 20 secs.


I am not advocating an obese lifestyle which is just as detrimental as striving to be skinny. I am simply saying, everyone has a different body. Why is that an issue. Why is it even a topic of discussion, let alone obsession.

Everyone has different giftings and for the athletes out there, here is a high 5.
But I am not an athlete, and I am most certainly NOT asking everyone to be a good singer, just because I have been blessed with that ability, and it most certainly shouldn't  be a bench mark to measure others worth by, so why measure it by a stupid number on a scale. Why does the fact that some people are extremely fit, mean that we all have to be, in order to be socially " normal" these days. I love fitness, I love exercise, and I love when my body works well and gets results. But I am never going to be skinny, I am Greek. And my daughter will most likely be the same. So why make her feel Inadequate because she might not get a six pack like the rest of the perceived world that is already being packaged and sold to her? She is beautiful already! I have no doubt she will be an attractive adult, but I don't want her growing up being forced fed a lie that she needs to show her boobs and be a certain weight to be acceptable to men and the world.

It repulses me.

I am blessed to have a husband who for some reason, does not see the changes in my body. I couldn't be more beautiful to him, no matter what I do. I had his children, and my body bears the proof of that, but he does not see the flaws that I do. He just doesn't. ( I sometimes refer to him as an enabler as he is the source of the chocolate in the house ;)

But I refuse to think that I am any different as a person because of my exterior. I won't. I won't let the advertisements and the lies that are thrown at me, make me think that my appearance has anything to do with who I am and what God has given me to be responsible with and bless others with.

Be fit. Eat well. Be discipled. But do it because you want to, not because you feel forced to. We all have something we are passionate about, that we are good at if we put our mind to it, invest in that. Invest in what you love. Give time and thought to that love, not on becoming a product of your environment. One of my very best friends on this planet is a personal trainer and she is AMAZING. She is determined, disciplined, hard working, resilient, encouraging, she is all kinds of amazing. She deserves the results she gets and she is passionate about that and helping others reach their potential. I love it, I am inspired by it. That is her passion. I am inspired by her passion.
Just as she is inspired by mine when I sing and show her songs I've written. That is my passion. Find your passion, and love it, nurture it, build it, invest in it. But my goodness, don't force yourself to invest in something unachievable just because the latest bikini catalogue tells you to be brown and skinny.

Is it just me that sees it as ridiculous? To expect people to attain this certain exterior, when often is isn't physically possible? And why is that so important? Why have we become so jaded that although we know this, we still want/ need to try and be it.

You don't HAVE to be the fittest person, you don't HAVE the be the most tanned, or expose yourself because everyone else is. You just have to be you. You have to find what you love ,what makes you come alive, and DO IT! Do it well, be disciplined, be dilligent, be consistent and then watch the world around you benefit from experiencing the life you live.

Be you. I love you just the way you are baby :)



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